“What is it, honey?”

“Come quick. They’re trying to get me.”

“Who’s trying to get you, sugar?”

“Booking agents! They’re under my bed, trying to get me to sign contracts for Up In Smoke and Neil Young, and they want 99 percent of the gross!”

“Let Daddy take a look. See? Nobody is under your bed. It was just a bad dream. Go back to sleep. Daddy won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Ten minutes later…

“Daddy! Daddy!”

“What is it now, princess?”

“Come quick. They won’t leave me alone.”

“Who won’t leave you alone?”

“Artist managers. They’re under my bed and they want all my profits. They say they don’t care if I just break even on shows by The Commodores, KORN and Iron Maiden.”

“Let me turn on the lights. See? There’s nothing under there. Now go back to sleep. Daddy will protect you.”

“Gee, Daddy, you’re the bravest man in the whole world.”

Fifteen minutes later…

“Daddy! Daddy!”

“What is it now, dumpling? More booking agents, trying to sell you dates for Guttermouth, Buju Banton and Thin Lizzy?”

“No, Daddy. It’s much worse.”

“Artist managers trying to up the guarantees for Bob Dylan and Limp Bizkit?”

“No, Daddy. Please come here before he gets me.”

“Before who gets you,, honey?”

“It’s a big national promoter and he’s trying to make me buy gold circle seats for Diana Ross & The Supremes. Please make him stop, Daddy. I’m so scared, Daddy? Where are you , Daddy?… Daddy?”

“You’re on your own, kid.”