Dear Mr. Pollstar: I don’t know how you people can sleep at night knowing that George W. Bush may very well be our next President of the United States.

I’ve looked through your entire database. I’ve browsed the dates for Sarah Brightman, read the calendar for 2 Skinnee J’s and surfed the listings for Holly Cole. Nowhere on your site do I see the slightest inkling that you folks know what will happen if Bush is elected president.

If only you would read up on the Protocols of Concertism, you would see that Bush is a descendant of a long line of hand-picked rulers who are backed by secret booking agencies whose only goal is to jack up ticket prices for Punk-O-Rama, shorten the length of Reef concerts and block support acts from decent soundchecks. Does this sound like compassionate conservatism to you? Hell, no!

And to top it off, Bush has named Dick Cheney as his running mate. Has Cheney ever been to a Tattoo The Earth festival? Has he ever rocked out at Ozzfest 2000? I thought not.

Of course, Bush likes to brag about all the concerts that played Texas since he was elected governor. But the truth is, Texas has had more concert cancellations than any other state. Bush may say that all those shows deserved cancellation and that each and every one of them was guilty of poor ticket sales, but I think he’s hiding something. And if you folks were really on the ball, you’d find out just what it is he’s hiding.

Believe you me, Mr. Pollstar, dark days are ahead. Not only for us, but for The Chieftains, Sister Hazel and anyone else on tour. I have concrete evidence that Bush was directly involved with the Limp Bizkit tour, JFK Jr.’s plane crash and the invention of Napster.

We must spread the word! Do whatever it takes. Call Metallica, message Barney and email Duran Duran. They must be warned about Bush! He’s just like his father, only worse.

And we all remember what it was like when Anheuser was president.