Or waiting in front of you.

You round the corner and pass an abandoned Lexus parked up on the sidewalk as if its owner was just plucked from the driver’s seat. Was that movement behind the Dumpster? Are those shadows between the houses? Then…

The AC/DC tour steps out from a doorway and throws an empty Fosters can at you. You duck as another tour, Travis, lets go a blood curdling scream as it pelts you with partially eaten Big Macs. You sidestep Lou Reed as he sticks out a bony musician’s leg in an attempt to trip you.

At one time you were just another concert-goer. You screamed “Rock and Roll!” during ballads and you stood while everyone else sat down. You shouted filthy suggestions at Britney Spears and you even flew all the way to Europe so you could throw food at Oasis. Then that day came last week when you opened your French hotel room curtains to find yourself nose-to-nose with a Concorde.

They say, “what goes around, comes around,” but you never listened. You held no stock in karma and blew off the Sunday school tales of hell and eternal damnation. But that was then and now you’re running from Black Eyed Peas, Lords of Acid and Dan Hicks & The Hot Licks.

You’re where all unruly audience members go. Anyone who ever taunted Cypress Hill, tossed bottles on the stage during a Bloodhound Gang performance or yelled at Lyle Lovett to do something about his hair. You had a whole life to change your ways, but you spent it heckling Don Rickles and flashing your laser pointer at The Nelsons. Did you ever think of repenting? Heck, no. You were having too much fun.

But remember when you took your little sister to see her favorite performer? Remember how you teased her throughout the show? Remember how she cried for days because you told her that Barney was just a guy in a cheap purple costume?

It all comes back to you as you spot the famous dinosaur standing in the center of the next intersection. Sure, he looked pretty ludicrous on TV as he danced and sang for the little children, but here he has real teeth, each one two feet long and razor sharp.

And he’s hungry.