“You said it, Clyde. Lying here in the shade of this tree makes one glad to be a dog.”

“How are your humans these days, Chauncey? I haven’t seen them around.”

“Same-old, same-old. They’re either working or going to shows like Billy Bragg and .”

“That sounds like my humans. Work, work, work during the day, Richard Elliot, The Moody Blues and Nine Days every night.”

“You’d think they’d slow down. You know, stop and sniff the bushes.”

“Or chase some cats or maybe rub their butts on the carpet, but nope, it’s always Clay Walker or Bryan White.”

“I know what you mean. My humans are going to see Jewel in San Diego.”

“Oh really? Her yodeling hurts my ears, but I really liked her last book, especially the binding.”

“I just can’t understand it. Everything our humans could possibly need – trees, fire hydrants, mailmen – is right here, yet if they’re not running to some show like moe. or Lorrie Morgan, they’re planning on buying tickets for Joan Osborne. It never stops. It’s like the game of fetch from hell.”

“Humans could learn a few things from us dogs.”

“I know. Take a bone for instance. If they had a good chew once in a while, they wouldn’t feel the need to go to all these shows like Alice Cooper and Sarah Brightman.”

“Or maybe if the humans would just mark some new territory, instead of the same old room at the end of the hall, they would feel more at peace with themselves.”

“Of course, there’s a lot to be said for just running in circles and barking.”


“Took the words right out of my mouth, Clyde. Say, did you hear about Rodney?”

“You mean, Mr. Hollywood? The Doberman with the movie actress human?”

“Yeah, seems his human wandered off.”

“That poor dog. Where did the human go this time?”

“She went up to Yosemite to see Lisa Loeb, but they found her wandering west of Fresno, looking for a spaceship to pick her up.”

“Again? How many times is that this year?

“Who keeps count? Sheesh! Humans sure can be a paw full.”

“Well, Chauncey, you know what they say.”

“Can’t live with them…”

“Can’t get fed without ’em.”

“Amen to that, brother.”