Getting to Phase II wasn’t easy. While more challenging than Phase I, Phase II also comes with additional risks, along with new shows like The Wallflowers and The Flaming Lips. That’s a lot of music to cram into a short time. For a while it looked like Phase II wouldn’t happen, that the Drano simulators were wrong. But here we are, ready for Roachford, and no worse for wear.

With the initialization of Phase II, Concert Club members all over America are going to shows like Elastica and Ty Herndon. The secret Concert Club password gets us backstage, where we hobnob with the musical elite, like Bob Dylan and Pantera, and get to sample the finest imported Drano from exotic faraway places like Bakersfield, Omaha and Milwaukee.

Interested in knowing more about Concert Club? Just look for our chapter chiefs the next time you’re at a show by Orgy or Les Savy Fav. They’ll be the ones flashing the top-secret Concert Club sign. No, we can’t tell you what the sign is. That’s the eighth rule of Concert Club. But you’ll recognize it when you see it. Just follow the Drano trail.

When you’re finally a member of Concert Club, Kool & The Gang, J Mascis And The Frog and Maze Feat. Frankie Beverly will be yours for the taking. You’ll boogie away at 3 Doors Down, sing along with Jimmy Buffett and receive your body’s weight in Drano at Honor The Earth Tour 2000. And if that wasn’t enough, every Concert Club member awakens each morning to new tour dates for bands and artists like Christy McWilson and Evelyn Forever, along with a 12 year old bottle of vintage Drano.

Just think of it! Def Leppard, Dwight Yoakam and Gladys Knight could be yours, along with more Drano that, even in your wildest dreams, you never could imagine.

Plus you’ll never have a clogged drain. Ever.