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Tours de Farce: Sympathy For The Doppelgänger
You got it. I’m the spitting image of Mick Jagger.
And although my life hasn’t been all that much easier for it, the resemblance hasn’t been a beast of burden either. I don’t mind looking like the Mickster, I just wish I had his money. But you can’t always get what you want.
However, I’ve never been shy when it comes to shows. Especially when The Stones aren’t touring. It’s a lot easier when the Jag-man isn’t making headlines everyday and the whole world knows where he is. That’s when I can show up at the backstage door at any concert, like the venue where Sammy Hagar is playing in Minneapolis. I’ll act like I’m waiting on a friend and eventually someone will spot me and then it’s, “Good to see you, Mr. Jagger. Right this way, Mr. Jagger. Can we get you anything else, Mr. Jagger?” Now that’s satisfaction.
I’ve been hearing rumors that The Stones may tour next year, so I’ve got to get my rocks off now and see as many shows as I can. Because when the whip comes down I want to be in the front row for Slash’s Snakepit, George Clinton & Parliament / Funkadelic and Dixie Chicks, and if the promoter thinks he has a famous rock star in his audience, so be it. After all, what promoter would refuse to have Mick Jagger as a guest? He’d be a fool to cry.
It’s going to be a good fall season and I’m looking forward to sitting in the best seats for ‘N Sync and Diamond Rio. And while you may think I’m pushing this Jagger thing to the limit, that I’m playing with fire, I definitely feel that time is on my side. As long as Mick’s around, I’ll have choice seats for Mother Hips and Richard Elliot. I’ll have those backstage managers under my thumb.
There’s just one small thing, though. One aspect of my life that’s been both a blessing and a curse, even if it is only rock ‘n’ roll.
My wife looks just like Keith Richards.