“No problemo. Now, what can I do for you?”

“According to your press release, it sounds like you have the backing of the entire music industry.”

“That’s right. With Mr. Downey’s latest troubles, we feel that it’s time for the music community to come together in a united effort to discover just what happened in Palm Springs.”

“Can you tell me who’s involved?”

“Well, there’s The Offspring. We didn’t think they were going to do it, but when we asked them to look into it, they couldn’t say ‘yes’ fast enough.”

“I understand the Deftones are interested.”

“Yes, most definitely. They’re so serious about this, you would think it’s a sacred quest. Also Prince and Nine Days have sent out some feelers. You see, everyone sympathizes with the current predicament, and they just want to do what’s right.”

“I see James Brown is one of your officers.”

“As is Green Day and Bill Wyman & The Rhythm Kings. I can’t tell you how many calls we’ve received since we announced the formation of our little group.”

“I was surprised when Van Morrison signed up.”

“Why? Mr. Morrison has been in this business for over three decades. He’s seen it all before, the failed dreams and unrealized hopes, and he definitely wants to make a difference.”

“Who else has expressed interest?”

“Morbid Angel said they would like to look into it before they start their European tour. Also U.K. Subs and Everclear. In fact, there’s talk of a benefit concert to raise money for lawyers and private detectives. Everyone feels this matter demands further investigation. We just don’t want to leave it to chance.”

“Well, I must say that this is really fascinating. This outpouring of love and support for Mr. Downey is incredible. You folks must really care about him.”

“Oh, this isn’t about showing support for Mr. Downey.”

“It isn’t?”

“Oh, no. We just want to find his stash.”