Features
Tours de Farce: Listen To What The Man Said
“I have to hand it to you, suggesting I make Colin Powell my Secretary of State was a stroke of genius. The press is eating it up.”
“What did I tell you, George? Colin is a natural for that position.”
“And Condoleezza Rice as my National Security Advisor was an excellent choice.”
“Just trying to help out.”
“But what about these other positions? Defense, Treasury and Commerce?”
“Coats, O’Neill and Evans.”
“Gee, you make it sound so easy.”
“It is easy when you’ve been advising presidents as long as I have. But enough of that, let’s talk about the shows.”
“Shows? What shows?”
“You mean your father never said anything about shows? The best presidential perk is being able to go to any concert you want. I thought we’d start with 38 Special on February 1 in Chicago.”
“That sounds like a good one.”
“Then there’s Creedence Clearwater Revisited and Cowboy Mouth in March.”
“Laura will love that. They’re her favorites.”
“I know. I also set you and Jeb up with tickets for Aaron Carter. Should be a good photo op.”
“I don’t know. Jeb’s more of a Meat Puppets man.”
“Trust me on this, George. After all, I was your father’s chief advisor.”
“I know, but…”
“No ‘buts.’ Enjoy yourself. Go see some concerts, like Thin Lizzy and Jesse Winchester, and leave the heavy stuff to me.”
“Well, if you’re sure it’s the right thing to do.”
Of course it’s the right thing. Didn’t I take care of Florida for you? Didn’t I help you with the Supreme Court?”
“Well, yeah…”
“You just gotta believe, George. Just like your father before you, you just gotta believe.”
“Oh, I believe. Oh, yes, I do believe.”
“Then it’s settled. Well, I better get off the phone. I have a lot of work ahead of me this week. Merry Christmas, George.”
“Thanks. Merry Christmas to you, too, Santa.”