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Tours de Farce: Pride In The Name Of Al
“Hello, Phil. Have you made any progress on that little ticket project I gave you.”
“Not as good as you would like, Al. Not many promoters want to give an exiting vice president comps to their best shows. However, I did manage to score a pair of decent seats for Erykah Badu.”
“That’s a good one.”
“And I’m still waiting to hear on Insane Clown Posse.”
“They’re one of Tipper’s favorites.”
“But I don’t think I’m going to be able to swing a pair of tickets for The Everly Brothers.”
“No? Did you tell them who it’s for?”
“Yeah, but they said Cheney has already scooped up the first two rows. In fact, the Vice President-elect has grabbed the best seats for just about every show coming to town for the next few months, including Judy Collins, matchbox twenty and Pat McGee Band. The promoters are telling me, that between Cheney and Powell, there’s hardly a comp left.”
“But I was the presidential candidate, Phil. That’s gotta count for something.”
“Not for the one who lost, I’m afraid.”
“I did not lose, Phil. If those pregnant chads…”
“Yeah, whatever. Listen, Al. With Chavez withdrawing from the Secretary of Labor position, I might be able to snag her pair of tickets for U2.”
“Go ahead, I’m listening.”
“What do you think?”
“What do I think of what?”
“U2?”
“Me and Tipper? What am I supposed to think?”
“No, Al. I’m talking about the band, U2.”
“What band?”
“You know, the band that preaches world peace but still knows how to rock.”
“Hmmm, world peace, rock… No, doesn’t ring any bells with me.”
“You don’t remember Bono? I introduced you to him at that UN thing last year.”
“Sonny? Didn’t he go skiing, run into a tree, and die, or something?”
“No, Al. I’m talking about the famous group from Ireland. Bono? The Edge?”
“The Edge? What does that chain of sound-alike modern rock radio stations have to do with this?”
“You know, Al, sometimes I don’t know why I…”
“If I was president, I’d ask the FCC to do something about that.”
“Yeah right. Anyway, what do you think? Do you want these tickets?”
“I don’t know, Phil. After the past few months I haven’t really felt much like going out.”
“What’s the matter, Al? Are you feeling a bit… Bushed?”
“That’s not funny, Phil.”
“I’m sorry, Al. Anyway, about U2?”
“What about us, too?”
“Forget about it, Al.”