“What’s up?”

“I need to ask for some time off.”

“Again? Didn’t I just give you some time off? What’s it going to be this time?”

“I want to go to Chicago on June 8th to see Ozzfest 2001.”

“Another concert? Sheesh, didn’t you just ask for some time off to see Jimmy Buffett on May 22nd in Phoenix?”

“Yes, I did.”

“And last month you asked for a week off so you could see Styx and Grand Funk Railroad.”

“Well, yeah.”

“And now you want time off for something called Ozzfizz?

“That’s Ozzfest 2001, and it’s not just any concert. It’s the best hard-driving, hard-rockin’ festival package in the world, featuring Black Sabbath, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Papa Roach, Linkin Park and Crazytown. Can I go? Please, please, can I go?”

“You’ve already had plenty of time off for concerts. Didn’t you just see Henry Rollins and Incubus?”

“Yes, and I sure did appreciate it. Now, about Ozzfest.”

“I don’t know about this one. We’re buried in work, and I doubt if I can spare you for this… this… Ozzfast.”

“Come on, now. You have lots of people working for you. Besides, it’s not like I’m asking for a month off to see Our Lady Peace, Van Morrison and Toots & The Maytals. Please? This is Ozzy we’re talking about.”

“Well…”

“Pretty please?”

“Well… alright. But after that, no more shows. We have a lot of work to do and it’s just going to pile up if you keep taking time off.”

“I know. Thanks again.”

“Yeah, right. Now get out of my office. I’m a busy man.”

“Yes, sir. Oh, and Dick?”

“Yes?”

“Did I ever tell you that you’re the best vice president a guy like me could ever have?”

“Forget it, George. You’re not getting Air Force One for Ozzfist.”

“That’s Ozzfest.”

“Whatever.”