“Hi, Neil.”

“Hello, Roger. How’s that sweet young thing you’ve been seeing?”

“Stella? Couldn’t be better.”

“My daughter said she saw her shopping at Giorgo’s last week.”

“That must have been for that Brooks & Dunn concert last Friday. She looked absolutely incredible in that dress she bought.”

“I got to admit, Roger, she is a very attractive young lady.”

“You should see what I bought for her to wear to the Amazing Crowns concert. Absolutely defies gravity. In our day, if a woman wore something like that in public she would have been arrested for indecent exposure.”

“Thank God for progress, eh?”

“You bet, Neil. Looking back, it’s kind of hard to believe that I actually had second thoughts when I walked out on my wife of 45 years for a woman younger than my own granddaughters, but the last 12 months have been fantastic.”

“She keeps you busy?”

“I’ll say. We spent last weekend buying her clothes for Janet Jackson and John Mellencamp. I didn’t realize all the different ways one could wear a thong. Did you know they can double as sweatbands?”

“A thong? You mean those little bitsy…”

“Those are the ones. The first time I saw Stella wearing one of those I thought my pacemaker was going to jump right through my ribcage. And you should see what she’s planning on wearing to Moby’s Area: One show next month. Oooh, la, la!”

“Sounds like you have your hands full.”

“In more ways than one, if you know what I mean. That outfit she’s wearing to the U2 concert tomorrow night is incredible. I think her diamonds cover more of her than her new dress.”

“You bought her diamonds and a dress? For a concert?”

“Hey, the sky’s the limit when it comes to my Stella. Diamonds, Versaces, tickets for Madonna and The Cult. Sure, I’m spending a bit more these days, but I love buying her gifts. And she looks stupendous when she steps out for a show like 3 Doors Down and Cowboy Junkies.”

“I’ll bet.”

“One night it’s Widespread Panic and tight designer jeans. Another night it’s Hothouse Flowers and a dress that’s plunges down to her navel. I’ll tell you, the guys can’t keep their eyes off of her.”

“It’s no wonder.”

“Yes, she’s one incredibly sexy young lady. Just one thing though.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“When she’s dressed to kill for one of these shows, like B.R.M.C. or The Living End…”

“Yes?”

“I wish she’d take me with her.”