“Good morning, Mr. President.”

“Thank God it’s Friday! What’s on the agenda for today, Dick?”

“Meetings with Rumsfeld, Ashcroft and Powell.”

“No, not your schedule. What’s on my agenda for today?”

“Pictures with a Girl Scout troop. They should be here in about five minutes.”

“Sounds good. Say, Dick, did you ever have a chance to check out Radiohead?”

“Sir? Was there something you wanted from the FCC?”

“FCC? What FCC? I asked you to check out those dates for Radiohead, remember?”

“Uh, right. They’re over there next to that missile shield report.”

“And what about Destiny’s Child?”

“You’re on the list. You can pick up your tickets at will call.”

“Great. Speaking of tickets, what’s the word on getting a Ticketmaster outlet installed at Camp David so I don’t have to go out to buy tickets for Ozzfest 2001 or the Seagram’s Hip Hop Tour?”

“We’re still negotiating, Mr. President. Commerce is trying to convince them to exempt us from the service charges.”

“Think it’s gonna happen?”

“It looks doubtful, sir. Heck, it was easier getting our airmen out of China.”

“Really? Uh… Which China?

“The big one, sir.”

“Well, do what you can.”

“Yes, Mr. President. By the way, I also rearranged your travel schedule, so you can fit the Doves and Lee Ann Womack into your July itinerary.”

“What about that U2 show in June?”

“Powell is trying to find the seats you want on eBay, but no luck so far.”

“Remember, I don’t want just any ticket. I want the works. You know, the Irish meal and everything. The whole enchilada.”

“Yes, Mr. President. Oh, look at the time. Those Girl Scouts should be here any minute.”

“That’s right. Pictures with the Scouts then I’m off to see Fighting Gravity and Guided By Voices. Er, Dick?”

“Yes, Mr. President.”

“Don’t get me wrong. You’re the best Vice President a guy like me ever had, but…”

“Yes, sir?”

“When the Girl Scouts get here, don’t you think I should be the one sitting behind the big desk?”

“Whoops! Sorry, sir. Sometimes I forget.”

“So do I, Dick. So do I.”