Just as our forefathers fought for freedom and independence, will you lead the charge in bringing Wailing Souls and Robben Ford to your town? Will you do whatever it takes to put a Ticketmaster on every corner and hold a rave every Saturday night? Do you have the right stuff? Are you ready to go marching in the streets?

Things will be different after the revolution. No longer will we be at the mercy of those who decide where The Incredible Moses Leroy plays and who opens for Five. No longer will we be the faceless, huddled masses yearning for a good show like Bjorn Again or begging for a chance to see co-headlines like Monstrosity / Deeds Of Flesh. We’ll pick the shows and the venues. We’ll decide and the guitars sing the song.

But we can’t do it alone, people. We’re putting out the word, issuing the challenge and sending out the cry. No longer will we be told where to park for Reverend Horton Heat, which doors to enter for Voodoo Glow Skulls or where to exit after D12. Yes, we’ll be parting on the left and right while Phil Lesh & Friends jam longer every night.

Are you with us? Then go out there and fight! Stand up for what you believe in. Take a bow for the new revolution. Smile and grin at the shows all around like Cadillac Angels or Soul Cracker. We will stand behind you. We will support you. We will cheer you on to victory. Of course, that’s if you happen to be left half-alive.

But right now we have to get back to work. You see, our new boss is the same as the old boss, and if we don’t finish plugging in the new schedules for Misfits, Nancy Wilson and Rebecca Gates, he’ll never let us see another show. Yes, we’ll miss 311 and George Thorogood & The Destroyers, but more importantly…

We won’t get Tool again.