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Tours de Farce: How I’m Spending My Summer Vacation
That’s right. One little mistake and my parents grounded me for the summer. “Someday you’ll understand,” they said. “Someday you’ll thank us for this,” they said.
Yeah, right.
Like I’m going to understand why I’m the only girl in my group who had to miss Ratt and Lifehouse. Like I’m going to thank them for having to skip Margaret Cho. One little mistake and my whole summer’s ruined. That is sooo bogus.
Take yesterday, for example. I begged them to lighten up and let me see Incubus when they come to town next month. I told them all my friends were going, but it didn’t make any difference. “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you want to join them?” they asked. Parents can be sooo difficult.
And then they started in on my faves. “We don’t want you seeing Lynyrd Skynyrd. We don’t like the way Fathead dresses. We don’t like the way 30 Odd Foot of Grunts behave. Blah, blah, blah.”
Sheesh. Gag me, already.
I tried to tell them that I learned from my mistake. That I’ll clean my room, clear the table after supper and go to bed early. But all I hear is, “A New End Original concert is not the place for Daddy’s little girl.” Or, “Jumping around at Misfits is no way for a little girl to act.” Gee, I wish they’d get off that little girl stuff. That is sooo yesterday.
But someday I won’t be so little. I’ll pack up my things and hit the road. I’ll see Rival Schools, Richard Buckner and Backstreet Boys, and they won’t be able to stop me. That’s when they’ll regret ever grounding me for the summer. Just you watch. They will be sooo sorry.
But in the meantime I have to sit here and watch all my friends go to great shows like American Analog Set and Marky Ramone. And where am I? Stuck in my bedroom with nothing to do. And it’s all over one little mistake.
I mean, stuff happens. It could have happened to anyone. Anyone could have backed their SUV over those people standing in the alley behind that nightclub on Long Island. It just happened to me.
And don’t even get me started on lawyers.
Gosh, being grounded is sooo uncool.