“I got to admit, Dick, that stem cell decision was a tough call.”

“You did what you could, Mr. President. You can’t please everyone.”

“Nor can you please yourself, Dick. I mean, Colin Powell offered me that extra ticket for Madonna for the same night I was scheduled to make my announcement. I gotta tell you, sometimes it’s tough being president.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“Anyway, getting back to stem cells, could you explain that thing about the ’60 lines’ again? It’s a little confusing.”

“Yes, Mr. President. For example, research on stem cell line #21 could teach scientists how to stimulate tissue growth in specific brain areas that might enable someone to become the next Eric Clapton or Neil Diamond.”

“Good. Good. I like that. What about #51?”

“Heart and lung growth that, if successful, might provide us with a future Martin Sexton or Collective Soul.”

“Great. And what about #12?”

“Britney Spears navel development.”

“It all sounds great, Dick. And to think the future of humanity all boils down to these 60 lines.”

“Well… That’s not totally true, sir.”

“What do you mean, Dick?”

“There’s a #61, but it’s a secret. We’ve been researching it for years.”

“Uh? Why haven’t I been told about this?”

“It’s a deniability issue, sir. If you don’t know about it, you can’t be held accountable.”

“You can tell me, Dick. After all, no one ever holds me accountable. Wait, I know. I’ll bet it stimulates growth to give us a future Lifehouse or Travis.”

“Not exactly, sir.”

“Static-X? Groove Armada?”

“No, sir.”

“Then what, Dick?”

“It stimulates growth in the brain to make people the complete opposite of what they currently are. GOP Research and Development believes they’ll be able to turn all the Democrats into right wing Republicans by 2003. Just in time for the next election.”

“Gosh, Dick, that’s great! This stem cell stuff is amazing!”

“I have to agree with you, sir.”

“Say, Dick.”

“Yes, Mr. President?”

“I don’t suppose they could do something about Michael Jackson, could they?”

“I’m afraid not, sir. Even with all the advancements in science, there are some things even we don’t understand.”