“I’m not sure, but I’ll bet anything Napster is involved, Bill. I noticed that the congressman didn’t say anything about protecting the intellectual property of Janet Jackson, Bob Dylan or Tori Amos. You can bet we’ll be looking into that back at the RIAA. After all, Napster is in California and the congressman is from California. Hmmm… I think we’ll have to sue someone.”

“Thank you, Hilary. Yes, Art?”

“Hilary brings up an interesting point. We were discussing this the other night on my radio show and the audience’s consensus was that Napster actually functions as an interdimensional warp-gate to facilitate the trading of songs by acts like The Moody Blues and Britney Spears between aliens from Pluto.”

“That’s fascinating, Art, but what does that have to do with the congressman? Yes, Dennis?”

“Wow, man! That just blows me away! Pluto, uh? I’m a Goofy man, myself.”

“Er, thank you, Dennis. Yes, Art?”

“According to one of my regular callers, the congressman was testing a special type of Napster developed at the top secret base in Nevada that everyone knows as Area 51. He says that the congressman was regularly sending copies of songs by Backstreet Boys and The Commodores to the aliens on Pluto.”

“Wow! Far out, man! You know what really blows me away? Like, Pluto’s a dog. And Goofy’s a dog. And Pluto is Goofy’s dog. A dog owning a dog, man! Unreal!”

“Er, thank you, Dennis. Yes, Hilary?”

“I have a question for Art. Is it possible to sue an alien from Pluto for trading songs by Wheatus and Cracker?”

“You may not have to, Hilary. There’s been talk that the congressman is a bit closer to the aliens from Pluto than we might think. That is, if you catch my drift.”

“Wait a minute, Art. Are you suggesting that the congressman is an alien?”

“Why not, Bill? It all makes sense once you look at the big picture.”

“Hilary? Do you agree with Art?”

“It certainly sounds logical to me, Bill.”

“Pluto, man, like… that’s way up there… somewhere.”

“Er, thank you, Dennis. So, do we all agree that Napster is an alien plot to capture the major record labels’ intellectual property, like Jim Brickman or U2 and send it to Pluto via the congressman’s apartment?”

“You forgot that the congressman is probably an alien himself, Bill.”

“Right. Uh… Moving right along…”

“Holy Moly! They sure make em ugly up there on Pluto. Shazaam!”

“Er, thank you, Dennis. That’s all the time we have for tonight. Be sure to join us tomorrow night when we’ll be discussing stem cell research and its impact on the fall concert season with our guests Neil Diamond, Bjork and Jerry Springer. That’s tomorrow night on Musically Incorrect!”