However, we’ll have to admit, we were worried. Ever since that antitrust decision came down, ordering us to split our tour date company into separate independent entities, we thought we might be seeing the beginning of the end of

But common sense finally prevailed. We no longer have to contemplate a future where we’d have to split the processing of tour information for acts like The Beta Band, Big Sugar and Ian Moore into separate companies that would handle the individual date, city, state and venue concert elements. We will remain united under one roof, where we can secretly plot our centralized expansion as we stream dates for Jane’s Addiction and Nikka Costa to a concert hungry Net populace.

And we can move ahead with our planned upgrade, which will guarantee that each and every computer in the world, no matter if it’s Mac, PC, UNIBLAB or UNIX, will carry the logo along with the latest listings for Cracker and Social Distortion. Every router, every fiber, every single strand of copper and coax that makes up the Net will crackle with dates for Elton John and Britney Spears. It will be a glorious future where every single person on the planet will get the tour dates they deserve, whether they want them or not.

But it doesn’t stop there. For this is still America where hard work and innovative business plans take precedence or silly little things like “competition” and “level playing fields.” Where multinational companies such as ourselves still have the right to infest every silicon chip with the schedules for Evan Dando and My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. Where dumping a few million dollars into the campaign coffers of the right presidential candidate not only ensures that we can trample over our enemies like buffaloes over gophers, but we can also kick them when they’re down. Why? Because we can. Because we have the right.

And for everything else, there’s Mastercard.