“Look, Steven, I have a new property I wanna pitch you. This one’s killer. It’s gonna rock.

“Check this out. A pseudo-documentary. Get it? We make a fake documentary about an imaginary 1980s band on tour. Our band will be a composite of some of the biggest acts from that era, like Human League or The Fixx or… Heck, I don’t know, maybe Bob Dylan.

“And we’ll get someone from TV to play the director of the documentary, someone like Drew Carey or Jerry Seinfeld. Hey, I got it! That guy who played the son-in-law on All In The Family. You know, Meat-head. You never see him anymore. I’ll bet he works cheap.

“Here’s the concept. The band’s doing this big tour of America. Where are they from? Oh, I dunno, Someplace foreign. Maybe London, Iceland or Bakersfield. It doesn’t matter. I figure we can load up the supporting cast with some big names like Britney Spears or D12. So far, I’ve talked to Sound Tribe Sector 9, Kittie and Angeles Del Infierno. What’s that, Steven? Paul McCartney? Lemme write that down. Er…How do you spell that?

“It’s supposed to be the band’s comeback tour, but everything goes wrong. The stage falls apart, the manager quits and a band member quits. Heck, one even fakes his own death. This will be real rock and roll. Just like anyone who’s hot now, like… er… I don’t know… like uh… Jessica Simpson or O-Town. And their albums will have titles like Break Like The Breeze, or Smell The Mitten. Uh? Glove? Break Like The Glove? I don’t get it, Steven. Is that a joke?

“Anyway, I’ve already done some pre-production on this. I’ve even hired the extras. But I need a name for the band. Something that sounds as if it could be a real band. Something along the lines of Fear Factory or Insane Clown Posse. What’s that? Spinal Tap?

“No, I can’t say I’ve ever had one of those, Steven, but my parents did make me go through five years of electroshock therapy when I was a teenager. Made me the man I am today. In fact, that’s how I got to know Michael Jackson and… Hello? Steven? Are you still there, Steven? Steven???

“Damn! Now what am I going to do with all these dwarves?”