Then this is the book for you. Introducing How To Pick Up Musicians.

For years only “bad girls” could meet musicians. You’ve seen them passing notes to roadies, waiting at the backstage door for D12 or Train wearing tourniquet-tight leather outfits and enough lip gloss to grease a Mac truck axle. And you probably said to yourself, “Gosh, I’d like to meet a musician, but I’m way too shy to dress and act like that.”

After you read How To Pick Up Musicians, there will be no more lonely nights spent at home cuddling your cat, long after that final encore has echoed through the arena. After reading only the first chapter, you’ll have mega-stars like Sting eating out of your hands. You’ll be sitting front row for the Butthole Surfers, hanging backstage with Drivin’ N’ Cryin’ and teasing Rob Zombie’s rat’s nest hairdo.

With How To Pick Up Musicians you’ll learn great introductory lines like, “I have my own washing machine,” “Go ahead, use my credit card,” and the 100 percent guaranteed, “My parents are gone and I know how to break into the liquor cabinet.”

Plus, for the first 100 orders, we’ll include, free of charge, our best seller, How To Dump A Freeloading Drummer, with a special introduction written by Lars Ulrich.

The glamour! The excitement! The laundry! It’s all just a phone call away. Order How To Pick Up Musicians today, and in a couple of weeks you too will be saying, “I’m with the band!”