While we’re hesitant to doubt the staying power of Cupid’s arrow, we’d be hard pressed to offer anything that both warms the heart and comforts the soul as much as a new list of shows for Supertramp. Holding hands, sharing life’s ups and downs and catching each other’s contagious diseases may seem like a blueprint for living happily ever after, but even Cinderella, when offered new dates for Joe Bonamassa and Bobby Vinton, tossed the glass slipper into the Dumpster and told the handsome prince to get his purple butt on the next Greyhound bound for Minneapolis.
We’re reminded of the first heir to the Pollstar.com tour date empire, Eb Pollstar, who, while officially thought of as the first son of our founder, Festus Pollstar, was in reality sired by a ticket scalper during those three years that Festus experienced temporary impotency after being kneed in the groin by Frank Sinatra’s bodyguard for seeking the Rat Pack’s Vegas concert schedule. Yes, good old Festus’ get up and go got up and went, leaving him with only a son that looked nothing like him as well as a gin-soaked vision of the day when concert fans around the world could click on dates for Scapegoat Wax, Indigenous and George Thorogood & The Destroyers.
Of course, we are not immune to the effects of mixing Eros with dates for bands such as Faithless and DJ Spooky – That Subliminal Kid. We recall our first love. It was second grade and her name was Connie. We passed notes to her all morning, asking that she meet us by the monkey bars during recess where we planned on showing her our Telefunk itinerary. Alas, her five brothers thought differently, and after 60 minutes of being beaten, thrashed and pummeled, our secret fantasies were more about the school nurse than that sweet, sweet lass who was later immortalized in a top-ten hit by Grand Funk Railroad.
But no one has ever written a song praising the emotional state when a young man’s fancy turns to dates for Shemekia Copeland, Spyro Gyra and Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine. Tin Pan Alley has never blessed our popular culture with little ditties such as “You’ve Lost That New Tour Feeling” or “Route The One You’re With.” However, when all is said and done, it’s tour dates that conquer all, like the schedule for the upcoming Elton John / Billy Joel tour. And love? Nothing more than an amusing, hormonal-generated diversion in our quest for the itineraries for Garth Brooks, War and The Wailers.
However, one should not short-change the effects of love, even when it’s obvious that a solid schedule for Arlo Guthrie or Delbert McClinton can quicken one’s pulse and drive even the most reasonable men and women to forsake hearth and home in exchange for front row tickets for U2. Yes, love and the new tours can coexist. And one need not look any further than the Pollstar.com store, where many items are lovingly priced at $16. Buy something today and you’ll have our undying, unrequited love. That is, at least until tomorrow when some other poor schmoe with too much money stumbles upon our Web site. Because that’s what love is all about. It’s about giving.
As in giving a few of your hard-earned dollars in exchange for a T-shirt or hat. Just think of it as our very own labor of love.