But why not make this Monday special? Go ahead. Call in sick to work. Take the phone off the hook, close the curtains, and while you’re at it, grab another cup of joe, and prepare yourself for a well-deserved day off. Prepare yourself for the tours.

And, boy howdy, do we have tours.

What do you say we start off with the Beth Orton tour? With cities like Vancouver, Minneapolis, Detroit and Philadelphia, this tour is a real page turner. Or how about that United Kingdom tour for Bryan Ferry, eh? Bryan’s first tour since last year’s Roxy Music reunion, he’s hitting Liverpool, Nottingham and Newcastle. Makes you tingle all the way down to your toes, doesn’t it? Are you feelin’ good? Heck, we’ve only just begun.

Monday takes on a whole new look when you spend it browsing tour dates on Pollstar.com. Let the other rats join the race, you have those De La Soul dates to read. Right now your coworkers are probably jammed in subway cars, or dueling over parking places while you’re cruising through the latest listings for Eagles and Rush. Life is good.

Oh, if every day could be like today! Days of checking out the dates for The Derek Trucks Band, Jesus Jones and Lydia Lunch. Speaking of lunch, why not order out? The more time you can spend with the tours is time well spent. You can quote us on that.

By now you’ve probably realized that you’re not the only one who blew off Monday in favor of clicking on the latest schedules for Gregory Isaacs and Tesla. There’s a whole subculture out there, people who learned a long time ago that man does not live by bread alone. It’s new dates for Mike Clark, Sheryl Crow and The Dickies that feed the inner hunger of the soul. That tiny voice that cries out, “The hell with a paycheck! Give me dates for ZZ Top, Lenny Kravitz and Leftover Salmon! Give me the tours!

And when the day is over, when you’re slumped in your chair, exhausted from reading all the dates for Queens Of The Stone Age and Kittie, we have one, final surprise for you. You see, we talked to your boss, and he says you don’t have to come in on Tuesday, either. In fact, he’s cutting you loose! That’s right. From now on, each and every day can be spent looking at the new tour data on Pollstar.com!

Is this heaven, or what?