Tours de Farce: Dear Ann...

While millions the world over benefited from Ann Lander’s 47 years of sensible advice, the fact that concert professionals relied on the spunky Chicago-based columnist to guide them through thick and thin is not lost on a business facing its toughest summer season ever.The Who and the Eagles, but the perky columnist’s responses to readers were often filled with short, to-the-point phrases that quickly became part of the ocncert industry lexicon such as “ticket service charges,” “gold circle seating” and “premium parking.” And who can ever forget that famous quip back in the ’80s when a disillusioned Los Angeles booking agent wrote to her complaining that there were no new bands to sign, only to have Ann answer back that it was time to “Wake up and smell the Guns N Roses?”

Yes, the concert industry is going to miss Ann Landers. Already there are reports of booking agents and promoters falling back on old standards such as reading tea leaves, studying chicken entrails and consulting Magic 8 Balls in the never-ending quest to limit expenses and maximize profits when it comes to presenting shows featuring artists such as Pere Ubu and Maxwell. Plus, there’s already talk that more than one performer has indicated a willingness to step into Ms. Landers formidable shoes.

“No Doubt’s Gwen Stefani surely has possibilities, as does Cyndi Lauper and Melissa Etheridge, says Ann’s former editor as he looks over a list of suggested names representing some of the biggest stars in show business. “However, ‘Dear Courtney Love’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”