We could go on about how we miss you and how you left us way too soon, but you’re probably busy getting reacquainted with all your old friends like Jimi, John and George. Besides, you were always an unassuming chap, one of the many reasons everyone called you “the quiet one.”

But we will miss you, John. In fact, many of us have yet to get over the shock of your leaving. However, when we think it all through, we’re not all that surprised that you left. After all, when we heard that the house band in Rock N Roll Heaven had put out a call for a bass player, we knew that they would settle for nothing but the best.

That’s about it for now, John. We’re getting out of town for the weekend. That’s right. We’re going to put on our lead boots and take a long, long drive. And we’re going to crank up the bass and blast songs like “Boris The Spider,” “Cousin Kevin” and “Had Enough” out of our speakers and show everyone on the street what maximum R&B is all about.

Anyway, we won’t keep you any longer, John. We know you have to unpack and settle in to your new dressing room. Besides, we understand that your old pal Keith is waiting outside your door and he’s got some really bitchin’ firecrackers that he’s been hanging on to since 1978. He’s waited a long time for you to join him for some old-fashioned fun, and, well, we just hope you remembered to bring enough matches.

Just don’t let him get behind the wheel. We hear that they’re kind of funny up there in Heaven when it comes to driving Lincolns into swimming pools. Go figure.