Tours de Farce: Shake Yer Money Maker

We can almost hear the whining from here.The Who, Britney Spears and Elton John will see the savings trickle down in the form of future opportunities to buy tickets for Creed and Kirk Franklin, thus making for a well-entertained U.S. citizenry. Bottom line? Buying concert tickets is patriotic. Anything less would be treasonous.

Of course, it takes money to spend money. If, after all the bills are paid, this month’s car payment met and the kids’ body piercing expenses brought up to speed, and you still don’t have money for Alan Jackson, Down From The Mountain and Alanis Morissette, then you need to take a long hard look at your economic situation. Remember; eat less, exercise more and you’ll have the cash to purchase tickets for Michael Martin Murphey and Coldplay. Sure it’s an old saying, but it’s the truth.

And for those of you who have followed our financial advice throughout these many years; those of you who freely spend money on Alice Cooper and Luther Vandross, yet still have enough left over to buy life’s necessities, like a David Lee Roth T-shirt or CDs by Darden Smith and The Icarus Line. For those of you who are never short of cash when it comes to buying tickets for Steven Curtis Chapman and George Clinton & Parliament / Funkadelic, we have two things to say.

First of all; Congratulations. You truly understand the value of the concert dollar.

Secondly; Can you loan us a few bucks until payday? You see, we just bought tickets for Cher and Neil Diamond, and, well, we’re a little short on cash.