Features
Tours de Farce: Will Book Dates For Food
It’s the homeless shelter for music industry professionals that have fallen off the beaten path towards success. A safe haven for the forgotten Hollywood, the men and women you see at the street corners, holding onto signs that read, “Will book dates for food.”
Dr. Daisy Moses has been running the music shelter for 25 years. “We get tremendous support from the industry” says Dr. Moses. “Junior agents involved with Cher, Gregory Hines, and Jerry Cantrell spend a great amount of time volunteering. You’ll see them handing out bread to former managers, filling the soup bowls of bankrupt promoters and distributing cell phones to washed-up agents, all to aid the human condition.”
It’s a part of the music industry that no one likes to discuss, but all agree to its importance. For what happens to the down-and-out booking agent or the client-less manager when they reach that very last number in the Rolodex only to get a “no longer in service” message? Many just roam the streets, begging for handouts and copies of Variety. Others end up here.
“A person can feel overwhelmed when they first volunteer,” says Dr. Moses. “There are so many homeless music industry vets that want to get back into the business. Of course, the big booking agencies have been a blessing. All of their junior agents volunteer and let our ‘patrons’ book an occasional date for tours like Sinead O’Connor, Doves or Tool. It’s therapeutic, and you should see their faces when they discuss contract riders and concession percentages. They absolutely glow.”
How does it happen? How does a successful music biz exec end up here? Of course, money is a big factor, but in Hollywood, it’s not so much the size of your bank account as the amount of business contacts a person acquires that really measures success. To lose all your money is an inconvenience. To lose all of your contacts, friends and clients like System Of A Down or Neil Diamond is total disaster.
And for the present day superstars of the industry? Will some of them end up here, having to share a cot and a BMW on some future holiday? “There is an old saying,” says Dr. Moses. “That you meet the same people on the way up as you will on the way down.” She pauses for a moment as she surveys the ragged agents and managers lining up for soup. “My advice is that you should always get their cell phone numbers on the way up. Because you’ll need them on the way down.”