Remember me? I’m that little voice inside your head. You know, the one that always tells you what to do? Like when to get out of bed, when to go to work and when it’s time to take out the garbage. Yeah, that’s right. It’s me.

Now that I got your attention, I need to tell you something very important. You see, I think we’ve got some wires crossed somewhere. That’s why we need this sit-down. Lately, whenever I tell you to do something, you seem to completely ignore me. Take yesterday for example. I told you to buy some Dave Matthews Band tickets and what did you do? You sent in your car payment instead. Now who told you to do that?

And remember last Wednesday when I told you that you needed tickets for Aimee Mann and G. Love & Special Sauce? Remember what you did? Whose idea was it for you to have your doctor check out that growth, anyway? Certainly not me. Looks like we’ve got to reset your priorities, and fast.

The good Lord gave people like you an inner voice like me for a reason. Not only do you need to know which shows to see, like Blue Oyster Cult and Indigo Girls, but you also need someone telling you when to buy tickets, which seats to choose and which nights you can go. I’m here to guide you through a life of live music, and my talents are not to be squandered on meaningless things like your kid’s birthday presents, when to pay the rent and whether or not you need to brush your teeth today. For crying out loud, I’m your inner voice. If you can’t trust me, who can you trust?

Well, I’m glad we got that straightened out. Now go out there and buy some tickets, like Todd Snider or The Blasters. No, not later. Now. You’ll feel better. Honest.

Oh, and by the way, you know what I said about me being the voice that tells you to take out the trash? That really isn’t me. I just said that to get your attention.

That’s your wife’s voice.