That’s what people keep asking us. They send us emails and they fax us faxes. They want to know how one keeps a firm grip on reality when dealing with tour dates for acts like Bryan Adams and Erasure day after day after day. They ask if we meditate, contemplate, copulate or self-medicate. They want to know how we keep an even keel in the water as our elevator attempts to stop at most floors, and the light makes them wonder if anyone is ever home.

Of course, we’ve lost a few along the way. We’ve had input operators who couldn’t handle the stress brought about by tracking multiple touring companies of Bjorn Again, and we’ve seen more than one experienced data handler head for the hills the first time he, or she, glimpsed the complexities of the routing for The Lettermen. Actually, when you consider the number of people that have either become lost or “missing in action” after trying to figure out the logic behind the schedules for Flickerstick, Dave Matthews Band and Cowboy Junkies, it’s amazing there aren’t more of us sitting in padded cells with our arms tied around us, waiting for our three-square meals of liquefied meat a day.

But no matter whose routing crosses our desks, whether it’s the Israel Vibration or Jimmy Buffett, we always manage to keep both feet planted firmly on the ground. Of course, there was that time when aliens invaded our compound, knocked out our half-human / half-Vulcan chief of I.T., Ivan, stole his brain and took it back to Bakersfield to run their beer and cigarette distribution system, but that’s all in the past. We have a grip on reality second to none. We understand the difference between tentative and firm, between fantasy and cold hard facts.

In fact, we’re as sane as anyone you’ll ever meet in the concert industry. And that says a lot right there.