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Tours de Farce: Desperately Seeking Somebody
Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Are you seeking companionship? Friendship? Tired of spending endless lonely nights waiting for the phone to ring? Would you like free tickets for Jimmy Eat World and B.B. King? Does your heart long for someone who can take you backstage?
It’s a well-known secret that concert industry professionals are the loneliest people on earth. Managing Fine Young Cannibals, promoting concerts featuring Judy Collins and counting the box office receipts for Kate & Anna McGarrigle hardly leaves any room for a personal life.
Presenting LoveMaster, the dating service for people like you who want to meet the folks behind the curtain. By joining LoveMaster, you’ll soon be spending quality date time with someone who knows what life is all about.
Hi! I’m Cassandra. I’m a heavy smoker and I enjoy long walks behind the amphitheatre, candlelight business meetings discussing routing logistics with Bone Thugs ‘N Harmony and booking shows with The Motet.
Think of it! You’ll be the envy of all your friends when they see you with the agent for Johnny Marr & The Healers and the promoter who presents shows by Young Dubliners. Let LoveMaster light up your life by matching you with the concert industry professional of your dreams.
My name is Nick. I’m a manic-depressive, type A personality and I like cozy nights in front of the fire going over the contracts for Jimmie Dale Gilmore, and setting up the backstage security for Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes.
Thousands have found their perfect soul mate by using LoveMaster. But don’t take our word for it. Go ahead and browse the entries for agents, promoters and box office managers looking for that someone special. Someone like you.
My name is Lizzie, and my turn-ons include midnight strolls on the beach, handling press for Peter Case and Dave Alvin & The Guilty Men and backing my SUV over Long Island white trash. Just because I can.
Take the plunge! Join LoveMaster today, and soon you’ll receive countless phone calls from the assistants of road managers, venue operators and all the movers and shakers that make the concert industry the finely tuned machine that it is today.
Hey, babe. I’m sorry I can’t make it tonight, but I have to schlep Sponge around town for some radio station promo appearances. Lessee, I have an avail for a week from next Thursday. Lemme give you my first hold. But keep in mind that’s a tentative until I see your deposit.
LoveMaster! It’s what dreams are made of.
Wait a second. I have a sudden cancellation for next Monday. Have your people call my people tomorrow and set something up.
LoveMaster! The ultimate in dating. Service charges and convenience fees when applicable.