Today is the first Monday of August. That’s right. The last month of the summer concert season is upon us, and there’s still plenty of tickets to buy and concerts to see. Like Jimmy Buffett in Pittsburgh and Andrew W.K. in Dallas, not to mention that Aerosmith / KISS co-headline that just kicked off.

However, it has come to our attention that some of you have been slacking off on your concert obligations. Oh, sure, you were gung-ho last June, promising that you’d see ever act that came to your town, that you’d be first in line when tickets went on sale for Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Fleetwood Mac and “Weird Al” Yankovic. But that was 60 days ago, and it appears that some of you think you have better things to do, like work, make house payments or pay for your kids’ braces. And to think you call yourselves concert fans. Sheesh!!!

Listen up, people. The summer concert season only comes around once a year, and you’re missing it! Tell your boss you’re taking a few days off to see Bob Dylan and Metallica. Show your kids how to smile with their mouths closed. And for goodness sake, call your bank and them you’re going to be late on that mortgage stroke because you’re spending the money on Cher and the Eagles. Don’t worry, they’ll understand. Banks love concerts. After all, why do you think they have so many major venues named after them?

Look, we don’t have much time left. The summer concert season will be over soon, and you don’t want to end up looking like a schmuck because you missed out on seeing Ozzfest or Iron Maiden because you couldn’t get your act together to swing the service charges. Get out there today and buy some tickets. No, not later. Now!!!

Oh, and one more thing.

Is there any chance you could float us a small loan until payday? You see, we spent all our money on tickets for Mariah Carey, Dixie Chicks and Radiohead, and the repo guy is in the parking lot and, well, you get the picture.