That’s right. We’re sorry that we couldn’t get our act together to present the entertainment extravaganza that we had planned for you this morning. We were all set to launch your Monday with a star-studded spectacular guaranteed to lift your spirits and start you off on the right foot on this first day of the workweek. But it all fell apart at the last minute. Oh, well, you know what they say. The best made plans of lice and hens and all that.

But it was going to be glorious! We were going to begin with Celine Dion singing a medley of her hits while juggling all of her awards as we listed the new tours, like the itinerary for Andrew W.K. and Michael Buble’s 2004 schedule, ending in a grand finale with the diva performing her own rendition of the theme to the TV show, Star Trek: Enterprise. But alas, it just didn’t work out.

Nor did the plans for Elton John to do his own personal tribute to “Weird Al” Yankovic. Yes, Captain Fantastic was going to appear in his glittery best, reworking his own classics for accordion and knee-cymbals, including “Goodbye Rocky Brick Road,” “The Kitsch is Back” as well as his ode to Tommy Chong, “Your Bong.” But those plans fell apart faster than the New York Yankees in the last game of the World Series. Oh, well, we still have new dates for Vendetta Red and Umphrey’s McGee, so at least today isn’t a total loss.

Yes, we were going to pull out all the stops this morning. We were going to bring you stars and celebs, comedians and musicians. Eric Clapton, Chris Rock, Cher and Eric Idle, they were all going to be here in one hellacious, breathtaking show biz spectacular, guaranteed to blow the roof off of Monday morning. We were going to put the spring back into your step and the glide back in your stride as we launched yet another workweek with concert schedules, like the latest routings for Radiohead, Evanescence and Bret Michaels, all presented by the greatest stars in entertainment. But we screwed up. We dropped the ball. In other words, we booted another one.

If only we had remembered to switch our clocks off Daylight Savings Time, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Oh, well. Better luck next year.