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Tours de Farce: The Secret Of His Success
“At least, Ben. When I saw your name on our old high school alumni Web site, I just had to give you a call.”
“And this place! This must have cost you a fortune!”
“It’s not cheap, that’s for sure. Here, let me show you around. Over here we have the Sting swimming pool. It’s very deep.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“And over here we have the Glen Campbell driving range.”
“You have your own driving range?”
“Sure. What golf course would be complete without a driving range?”
“Golf course?”
“Uh, uh. The Phish course. It goes on forever.”
“I’m impressed.”
“And on your right is the Neil Young & Crazy Horse riding stable, and up on the left is the hanger where I keep my Guns N’ Roses hot air balloon.”
“Incredible. But why all the names?”
“Why not? After all, if wasn’t for groups and artists like The Allman Brothers Band and Bryan Adams, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
“Business is that good, eh, Rodney?”
“Business is astonishing, Ben. Why, just today I made an extra $55,000. And that was before breakfast. Now, up ahead you’ll see the Britney Spears twin bobsledding hills. Oh, and that building on top of the left one is the Galactic observatory.”
“Well, Rodney, it looks like you’ve done okay for yourself since high school.”
“Yeah, I guess you could say I’ve had my fair share of good luck, Ben.”
“Luck? You call all this luck?”
“Well, luck and hard work.”
“I’ll bet. You know something, Rodney? I never would have dreamed that writing advertising copy paid so well.”
“Uh? Advertising copy?”
“When you called me on the phone, didn’t you say you’re writing advertising copy for the recording industry?”
“Naw. You misunderstood me. Blame it on the lousy cell phone reception around here. It’s been crap ever since I built the Metallica ski mountain. I’m not an advertising copy writer for the record biz.”
“You’re not?”
“What I said is that I’m a copyright lawyer for the recording industry.”
“Ohhh… That explains it. You had me confused for a moment.”
“Well, I’m glad we got that cleared up. Now, if you look over to toward the north forty, you can see the southern tip of the Puddle Of Mudd dolphin pond. And over to your right is the…