In fact, today has Monday written all over it. It’s wall-to-wall, coast-to-coast, Aerosmith to ZZ Top Monday, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Surprised? We don’t blame you. After all, ever since 1931 when our founder, Festus Pollstar, launched this Web site amidst celebratory champagne pops, fireworks and random drive-by shootings, people have counted on this page for routings for such artists as Paul McCartney and Britney Spears, and updates for bands like Metallica, The Beach Boys and Mistress Of Reality, all mixed in with a few words of hope. Maybe something like, “Today is the first day of the rest of your concert life,” or “Have a nice Ticketmaster day,” or “Ask not what Clear Channel can do for you, but what you can do for Clear Channel,” or some tripe like that.

But there’s still no getting around the fact that today is Monday. Forget about Opportunity never knocking twice, for it just slipped on your front door step, and the only knock you’ll hear today is when Opportunity’s lawyer serves you with a personal injury suit. Sure, we could say, “Cheer up! Have a peak at the latest re-routed dates for Ruben Studdard,” but it would still be a day when the sun refuses to rise over the desolate dawn overshadowing the landscape of your soul. That’s what Mondays are all about.

Plus, not only is today Monday, but it’s also the first day of the month, which means someone from the bank will be pounding on our door, saying that we’re five months late on our monthly strokes. You wanna know how dumb bankers are? Every first-of-the-month like clockwork they send out a rep to demand payment, and every first-of-the-month like clockwork those reps keep disappearing. You would think they’d learn. Guess bankers have Mondays too.

But even though it’s Monday, we feel that you deserve some kind of motivational message that will lift your spirits, and give you that `ol get-up-and-go feeling for which you’re so desperate that you’ve read this far into this page. Something like, “Hope springs eternal,” or “What goes around, comes around,” or even “Might makes right.” Sure, on any other day, mumbling something like the preceding platitudes would probably work. But today is Monday, and we’re betting that it’s going to be Monday all dog-gone day. So the best we can do is give you the schedules for the Stings and Ozzys of the world, along with two simple words of advice…

Give up.