“Uh, wow, man! Far out! Uh… Let’s take a phone call. I think there’s somebody calling from… from out there, somewhere, on… on… on line… er… one. Go ahead, caller. You’re on uh… Oh, ask me something.”

“Hey, Keith! Long time listener, first time caller.”

“I can relate, man.”

“Uh, yeah. Say, Keith. My girlfriend wants to see Death By Stereo next month in Fresno.”

“Nothing wrong with that, dude. I’ve had some good times in Fresno. I just wish I could remember them.”

“I’ll bet you do.”

“You’ll bet I’ll do what?”

“Uh?”

“Don’t know about that, but I do know that you gotta do what you gotta do. Capiche?”

“I don’t know.”

“Neither do I. Thanks for calling. Our next caller is on the phone. Go ahead caller. Talk to me.”

“Hi, Keith!”

“Hey!”

“Listen, Keith, I’m really depressed over Lollapalooza getting cancelled. Got any suggestions?”

“Nope. Don’t have any of those. But I do have a couple of cases of Rebel Yell.”

“I mean shows, Keith. Can you suggest any good bands to see this summer?”

“Well, I… I mean… I…”

“I was thinking of seeing either Everlast or John Prine.”

“Yeah, well….”

“Of course, they just announced that Static-X is coming to town. I’ve always wanted to see them.”

“Er… Yeah. Cool.”

“Then again, if I save my money, I can see Van Halen, Pixies and Marillion later on this summer.”

“Outasite, far out and heavy, man. Money is always good for seeing bands. The more money, the… the… the better the bands. That’s what I always say.”

“So, who do you think I should see this summer, Keith?”

“Who should you see? Well, that should be easy. Just look at the ticket and see whichever band whose name is printed on it. Whoops! Look at the time. It’s time right now for our surprise celebrity caller. Go ahead, celebrity caller. You’re on the air!”

“Ehhhh?”

“Uh?”

“Ehhhh… Ehhhh. Er…”

“Huh?”

“Ehhh…. Ehhhh…”

“Huh?”

“Ehhh… Ehhh….”

“Huh? Yeah, man. Later. Click! Wow, don’t you just love it when Bob Dylan calls? Anyway, that’s all the time we have for today. I want to remind you that I’ll be appearing at the Gram Parsons tribute concerts taking place the weekend after next in Los Angeles and Santa Barbara, where I’ll be doing my own interpretations of classic Parsons songs like… like… ‘Eye In The Sky’ and ‘I Wouldn’t Want To Be Like You.’ Until then, this is Keith reminding you to… to… uh… Oh, yeah. To remember to turn off the radio when I’m done. Okay?”