Tours de Farce: Pride (In The Name Of Tours)
After all, they’re only tour dates – days of the week combined with numeric notations and topped off with a specific month designator – but what makes our tour dates different than all those other Web sites? Why does the Internet community constantly rate this Web site numero uno for concert schedules, often ranking it above SuicidePrevention.com and BarnyardRomance.net as the most bookmarked home page of the past seventy years?
It’s our attention to detail.
For example, each tour schedule, such as the new routing for KMFDM or the latest dates for Phantom Planet, is designed specifically for your ergonomic comfort. Not only is each date placed approximately at eye level on your monitor, but we also make sure that every venue link is placed well within the reach of your mouse arm.
Of course, cleanliness is priority one in the Pollstar.com processing pits, where our data entry people wash their hands after handling each tour schedule and wipe whatever needs wiping more often than not. Those other Web sites? They may have the same dates for Capleton or 38 Special that are posted Pollstar.com, but what about their ratio of transmittable diseases per employee? Trust us, you don’t want to know.
We could go on. Such as our day care center which includes real stainless steel chains instead of cheap plastic, a drug-testing policy that consists of both multiple choice and essay questions and a retirement program that ensures that our employees will work well into their golden years. But the fact remains that tour info, such as the latest schedules for The Good Life and Erasure, not only looks better on Pollstar.com but is safer, healthier and more anatomically accurate than those other concert Web sites.
What’s the difference? Those other concert Web sites may boast of dates for Tesla and Jimmy Buffett, but when you get right down to it, when you strip the meat from the bone and separate the tendons from the muscles, you’ll agree that Pollstar.com is the most stupendous, the most terrific, the most fabulous of all concert Web sites and our tour researchers are the most excellent of all. That’s the Pollstar.com difference.
That and the fact that we’re so damn humble.