Time to shake off the cuts and bruises from the workweek and get down to some serious self-satisfaction. Time to toss your worries to the wind, drop your uncertainties by the wayside and wrap up your troubles in your old Kittie bag and browse, browse, browse. Time to settle down in your favorite chair and look at some tour dates.

And boy howdy, do we have tour dates.

Take a gander at the Pat Metheny Group schedule. 37 dates and still growing. Heck, this little beauty is poetry in motion. Check out that fine American craftsmanship in those cities, the attention to detail in those dates. That’s an excellent schedule, a tour itinerary that a body can be proud to display on the monitor.

Or how about those Ministry dates? Whew! We get chills just looking at them. The symmetry in the routing, the way the states line up one over another. It’s like it was created by Bucky Fuller himself.

Life is so much easier when you’re looking at tour dates. Got family problems? Take a quick glance at the schedule for String Cheese Incident and watch those troubles melt away. In deep doo-doo with the boss? Call up the routing for Pepper, then sort it by the cities, and you’ll be whistling a different tune. Did you lose your life savings at an online casino? Check out all the show dates for Tom Wopat and you’ll feel like a million bucks. Guaranteed!

Yes, there’s nothing like fresh concert schedules to take your mind off of the pitfalls, potholes and detours of this dreary existence we call life. So forget about your overdrawn checking account, your meager paycheck and that white powdery substance that’s sprinkled all over your morning mail. Once you immerse yourself in the dates for Korn, Silvertide and Weakerthans, you’ll see what we’re talking about. You’ll feel renewed. You’ll feel like a new person. You’ll feel reborn!

Besides, all your problems, disappointments and fears will still be waiting for you on Monday. Just thought you should know.