And we’d like to thank all of you for taking the time to attend this meeting of Pollstar.com users. We’ll begin with the roll call. Raise your hands if you’re here.

There comes a time when a Web site must take a stand. For too long we’ve idly stood by watching while those in power infringe upon our rights. Hear us now or hear us when it’s too late. Are we going to wait until they start locking up the Marilyn Manson fans before we stand up and fight for what we believe in? Come on. Raise your hands if you’re with us!

This country was founded upon certain unalienable rights – The right to see Bright Eyes. The right to buy tickets for Megadeth and the right to go to Las Vegas, lose all your money playing blackjack and then have to sell your Celine Dion tickets in order to afford the airfare home. Are we going to let them take these rights away from us? Come on! Let’s see those hands in the air!

Of course, in order to launch this campaign to protect our rights, we need a figurehead. A person who has unjustly been accused of wrongdoing. Someone we can rally behind as they face their accusers. Someone everyone recognizes as a good, hard-working, honest American, regardless of whether that person shares your musical tastes or is a fan of Eagles, Scorpions or any of those other bands that should have “The” in front of their names but don’t. Are you ready to stand up for a fellow American? Let’s see those hands. All right!

Now, who wants to be first to sign our petition to free Martha Stewart?

Hmmm… Don’t everybody raise their hand at once.