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Tours de Farce: Homely Improvement
I’ve always found that duct tape works wonders for patching a broken window on the tour bus.
Presenting The Roadie’s Guide To Home Repair, by renowned concert road warrior, Sir Ian McTavish…
Carpet stains are always a big problem in my house. I remember one morning after a late-night visit by Keith Richards. There were stains on my carpet in colors I had never seen before. No matter. A little vinegar and duct tape made that carpet look as good as new.
When it comes to home repair, nothing tops Ian McTavish’s 40-plus years of experience from working with bands like U2, Toto and REO Speedwagon…
You say somebody just drove a limo through your front door? Don’t worry! Some wood, plaster and a couple rolls of duct tape should take care of that problem.
Whether you need to remove gunpowder residue from bed sheets or fix a TV after it’s been dropped from an upper floor window, home repair is a breeze when Ian McTavish is there to guide you…
Friends are always dropping by the ol’ McTavish estate. Sting, Barry Manilow, Ian Hunter – you name the artist, and chances are he or she has made the trek to my humble abode. And with all those performers dropping in unannounced, you’re probably wondering how I handle those unexpected fires that seem to plague musicians wherever they go. No problem! Just keep an extra couple buckets of water on hand, along with some baking soda and three or four rolls of duct tape, and you’ll never have to call 911.
But The Roadie’s Guide To Home Repair is more than just a collection of household tips…
I remember the first Dave Matthews Band tour I worked on. That was when Three-Finger Freddie accidentally swallowed the keys to the tour bus. We thought we were doomed! However, after we crammed a magnet attached to four feet of duct tape down Three-Finger’s throat, not only did we manage to pull the keys out in time to make it to the next gig, but we were even on time for the sound check!
Not only is The Roadie’s Guide To Home Repair your ultimate fix-it reference source, but it also comes with plenty of sound medical advice…
Did you know that a couple of microchips from a GameBoy combined with a cell phone battery, two plungers, some copper wire and roll of duct tape makes for a great emergency defibrillator?
Don’t wait any longer! Order The Roadie’s Guide To Home Repair today!
I told Janet Jackson that she wasn’t using enough duct tape. But did she listen?
This is the only book you’ll ever need…
Then there was that time I had to reattach Keith Richards’ trachea after he coughed it up during a poker game.
The Roadie’s Guide To Home Repair. Operators standing by!”
Unfortunately, I ran out of duct tape, and had to staple the little bugger back in.
The Roadies’s Guide To Home Repair! Only $9.99 plus shipping. Order today! (duct tape sold separately)