The show’s title says it all. Fat Promoter stars real-life concert promoter Roscoe Arbuckle, as he attempts to lose over 150 pounds of excessive weight, while at the same time promote shows by major superstars such as Oasis and Moby. Already denounced as “pandering to a diet-obsessed culture,” Fat Promoter has become a ratings extravaganza, leading some television insiders to predict that it will become the biggest reality show ever, bar none.

Of course, all that is music to the ears of the show’s producer, Larsen E. Whipsnade. Responsible for past TV reality hits such as Which One Of You Roadies is My Daddy?, as well as the groundbreaking Who Wants To Marry A Concert Promoter?, Whipsnade predicts that the ratings for Fat Promoter will continue to swell as Arbuckle slims down.

“How can you not love this program?” exclaims Whipsnade while maneuvering his Hummer through the McDonald’s drive-thru on Sunset Boulevard. “Arbuckle truly embodies the American Dream. He’s on a first-name basis with Cher, Sting and Bono, he’s number one on Bob Dylan’s speed dial and he can put more food away then everyone in the Dave Matthews Band combined. He’s the American hero for the new millennium. And a rather chunky one at that.”

But Arbuckle won’t remain chunky. That is, if everything goes according to plan. Standing just under six feet tall and weighing in at over 300 pounds, the reality program’s “script” calls for him to lose 150 pounds by the time he promotes an all-day concert festival extravaganza starring Green Day, Nine Inch Nails and John Tesh.

“Of course, losing all that weight isn’t all peaches and cream,” says Whipsnade. “He still has to avoid all those hospitality trays backstage, as well as the food concessions in the lobby before he can wiggle into a medium-sized Velvet Revolver t-shirt. But that’s why the show is so entertaining. It’s the drama of real life combined with all the hassles of concert promotion. This is ‘must see TV’ at it’s finest.”

However, some people have a problem with Whipsnade’s latest reality epic. Various self-proclaimed moral groups, such as Portly Promoters Are People Too, as well as the politically motivated Swift Boat Veterans For Girth, claim that Fat Promoter is nothing more than the latest signal from Hollywood that all concert promoters are to be treated as sexual objects, and that no one will buy a ticket for Brian Wilson or Coldplay unless the promoter is a lean, mean concert machine.

But as far as the TV industry is concerned, all that criticism is falling on deaf ears. In a business where imitation is often considered the sincerest form of success, several copycat programs are already on many networks’ fall schedules, including ABC’s Bi-Polar Tour Accountant and the WB’s Diarrheic Soundman. However, Whipsnade is far from worried about the competition.

“Bring ’em on!” exclaims Whipsnade in reference to all the shows trying to copy Fat Promoter’s success. “Bring on those cheap imitations like Obsessive-Compulsive Booking Agent and Stinky Tour Bus Driver. Mark my words. Fat Promoter will be the biggest reality show of all time. That is, until next year when we launch the sequel.”

The sequel? Does that mean there will be a Fat Promoter II?

“Not exactly,” answers Whipsnade. “Right now our working title is Anorexic Box Office Manager. After all, this is the television industry we’re talking about. What goes around, comes around.”