As we all know, April 1st, or April Fools Day as it’s known among professionals, is the day when publications such as this one often fill their pages with items of faux news itmes that on any other day would be more appropriate on Fox News – little tidbits containing the so-called wit of otherwise serious news scribes as they try to enlighten their readers with a text-based “gotcha,” and ending with the traditional chant of “April Fools!”

However, try as we might, we really couldn’t come up with anything April Fools-worthy. Oh, sure, we tried. In fact, we struggled and strained until we almost stained ourselves in an effort to pound out a few hundred misleading words about concerts that might make you smile or guffaw, and then cap it off with a hardy “April Fools!” But as Lenny Bruce once said – “Concert news is easy. Joking about Avril Lavigne or Meat Loaf – that’s #!@# hard.”

But even more trying than trying to find some humor in concert routings for acts like Paul Westerberg or Nickel Creek was trying to hardwire that creative time into an already frantic work schedule. For example, we tried to come up with something humorous about our new automated satellite office in Toronto, but we got so bogged down with the language problems inherent in such an endeavor that we eventually decided that we might want to consider another subject. Like Groucho Marx once said – “Cataloging individual concert appearances for Carole King, Anthrax and The Futureheads is easy. Jokes about Canadians, donuts and beer – that’s hard.”

Then came Wednesday. At last, we thought. Some time to ourselves to get this April Fools project completed and behind us. But, alas, Wednesday was the day we met with the lawyers to discuss our upcoming acquisition of Clear Channel Entertainment. Needless to say, that kept us pretty busy. And while we thought our communications with the entertainment giant might lend itself to some serious quipping, we got bogged down with the U2 tour, and how the last date of the tour will coincide with Bono’s ascent into Heaven. It’s just like Jack Benny once said – “Beautifying rock bands for sainthood is easy. Writing jokes about Clear Channel – that’s hard.”

And of course, Thursday was out if only because the last day of March is our traditional “If It Feels Good, Do It!” day at Pollstar.com, and all that whipped cream, expended cartridge shells, new Arlo Guthrie dates, and empty tubes of Astroglide littering our compound prevented us from completing any serious work on a humorous piece for April 1st. Or as Bob Hope once said – “Drunken episodes of debauchery and mayhem in the work place is easy. Writing jokes about concert trade publications – That’s hard.”

So there you have it. Maybe we would have been more successful if we had spent more time planning some kind of mirthful message, and less time buying Clear Channel, teaching robots to speak Canadianese, and getting lubed in the cubes. But it’s too late to discuss all of that now. Perhaps it’s best to just say “April Fools!” and get the blasted thing over with. At least until next year.