We’re lowering our prices! We’re slashing our rates! We’re cutting our costs! We’re workin’ our tails off to bring you the lowest prices on tour dates anywhere! We’re talking about a 50 percent reduction on The White Stripes! A 75 percent reduction on John Mellencamp and the Eagles! A 125 percent reduction on Coldplay!

But wait, there’s more!

Check out our special discount packages! That’s right! Two itineraries for the price of one! Bob Weir & Ratdog! Queen + Paul Rodgers! Theodore & Bundy!!!!

We’re talking high quality tour dates at rock bottom prices! Search for Anne Murray and Bruce Springsteen now and don’t make a payment until 2010. At Pollstar.com your job is your credit! Easy terms! Easy financing! Click now, pay later! We’ll eat a bug if you can beat our best deal!!!

So come on down and walk away with a fine itinerary for Neil Diamond or Simply Red today! We’re talking no down payment, zero interest and years and years to pay! When it comes to tour dates, we are the cheapest place on the Net! Heck, we’d give these dates away for free if we could!

But we can’t. After all, exclamation points don’t grow on trees, you know.