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Tours de Farce: Ball Of Confusion
You’re in good company, for the latest statistical numbers indicate that almost 98 percent of the world’s population is confused, befuddled or downright bewildered. Furthermore, of that 98 percent, 27 percent is confounded, 46 percent is nonplussed and a whopping 57.6 percent is perplexed. Surprised? We don’t blame you.
Needless to say, we’re experts when it comes to confusion. We know confusion like we know the backs of our hands. We’re also well versed in abstract concepts such as chagrinned and baffled, as well as the always mysterious “discombobulated.” In fact, you can travel all over this great big world and you won’t find as many examples of confusion as you will at Pollstar.com.
Maybe that’s why we love tour dates as much as we do. Concert schedules for bands like Spitalfield and Disturbed bring a certain degree of sanity to these confusing times. The itinerary for Trisha Yearwood, which on the surface appears to be both confusing and complex, is actually a sterling example of order and discipline. All those dates neatly aligned per chronological exactness, all those cities arranged due to obscure geographical characteristics and bus timetables, it’s no wonder that tour dates bring order to a world prone to disorder. A world that often appears as a random collection of people, places and things, really comes together as a unified source of solidarity when seen through the prism of date, city and venue.
Of course, we can’t do anything about confusion. Sure, we can take something born in chaos, like the touring schedule for Fall Out Boy, and turn it into a well-defined list of probity and exactness. However, despite all our machines and all our knowledge, we can’t bring about an end to the confusion that grips our planet in a stranglehold of pandemonium and discord.
Who’s to blame for all this confusion? Not your local promoter, for he or she is too busy presenting shows by 50 Cent and Gov’t Mule to dabble in the netherworld that is confusion. And don’t blame your local ticketsellers, because they’re way to busy providing tickets for The Rolling Stones, U2 and Bruce Springsteen to be bothered dealing with daily mayhem and indiscriminate irregularity. In fact, when it comes to the messy untidiness that grips this world in an iron fist of dithering disharmony, there really is no one you can blame for all the confusion found in the world today.
That is, no one to blame except for Tom Cruise. But then, trying to get a handle on his latest antics is, well, way too confusing.