Good evening. Welcome to Chez Pollstar. I’m Gary, and I’ll be your waiter for tonight.

For years the incredible food served only in the Pollstar.com commissary has been the envy of nearly everyone who eats for a living…

Would you like a cocktail before you order dinner? May I suggest the bartender’s specialty? A Hershey margarita?

Now you can feast upon the same culinary delights that our staff, those hard-working data ninjas who bring you dates for Umphrey’s McGee and System Of A Down each and every day, has known and loved for these many, many years…

One of our specials for tonight is roast duck stuffed with bon-bons.

For years concert fans have been asking for a restaurant that serves up the same great tasting and nourishing food as the Pollstar.com commissary…

Our other specials include veal that was raised solely on fudge and cigarettes, and free range chicken that was lured to slaughter by laying down a trail of Reese’s Pieces.

Yes, no matter if you’re a fan of Styx, Velvet Revolver or Nada Surf, you are going to love Chez Pollstar…

Meat Loaf smothered in chocolate truffles? Very good, sir. Now, would you like to step out back and select the cow?

For delicious food and great tour dates, like the schedules for OK Go and Portastatic, nothing beats a night out at Chez Pollstar…

Who wants dessert? May I recommend our Milk Dud soufflé?

Bon apetite!