You wait weeks, even months, for your favorite band to play your town. You save up your money for that long-anticipated night. You count down the days. It’s all you think about.

Then, on the day after the event, that morning when you’re telling your friends about the great concert you saw the night before, someone steps up and says something like, “Sounds like a great show. But you should have seen them back in 1987. That was an unbelievable concert!”

And another concert bully totally decimates your live music experience.

No one knows how many concert bullies exist in today’s world. Instead, all we see are the results – the millions of concert fans who are constantly devastated when someone claims to have seen a better show. Maybe the bully was claiming to see Green Day back in their nightclub days, or perhaps the person saw Papa Roach before he became a daddy. No matter, for it’s the concert bullies of the world that prevent the rest of us from enjoying shows by artists such as Darden Smith and bands like The Subways and Blue Floyd.

But now there’s help.

With your support we can remove from society those smug, self-righteous bullies who constantly destroy our concert memories. We can silence the smart-ass who saw U2 playing some kid’s birthday party in 1979, we can lock up the joker who had better seats than you for Bob Dylan in 1967, and we can eliminate the person who saw Lou Reed with the Velvet Underground in 1968. In short, by removing concert bullies from society, we can help assure that upcoming shows by Sam Bush, Joe Satriani and Helmet will truly be nights to remember.

But we can’t do it without your support. Search warrants, Tazers, lobotomies and new prisons cost money. That’s why we’re asking you to dig deep into your pockets and give generously when the Society For The Detainment and Elimination of Concert Bullies knocks on your door. We may not be able to change the world, but we can help improve your concert experience when it comes to seeing Yonder Mountain String Band or Better Than Ezra.

Won’t you help?