Do you feel lonely? Unloved? Friendless?

It’s not easy surviving in this cold, cruel world known as civilization. Sometimes you need a friend who can help you through this thing called life. That’s where we come in. All of us here at Pollstar.com want to be your friend.

For example, let’s say you’re at wits end because your car has been repossessed, your kids have been diagnosed with head lice and your spouse needs a couple grand for bail money. No problemo. Just kick your shoes off, sink into your favorite chair and bring up the new schedules for The D4 and Frank Black & The Catholics. There, now. Feel better? We knew you would.

You may find this hard to believe, but we were once miserable. Yes, sad, but true, we’d sit here pounding out the schedules for Less Than Jake and Bryan Adams, all the while dealing with hangnails, indigestion and the heartbreak of psoriasis. That’s why we can relate to tragedy. That’s why we want to be your friend.

They say misery loves company and there’s no better way to pass the most miserable moments of your life than logging on to Pollstar.com and checking out the new dates for great artists like Melanie C and Martin Sexton. Heck, once you see those new dates for Cher scroll down your screen, all your troubles will seem like distant memories. We guarantee it.

Just think of it! You’ll be down on your luck, perhaps homeless and living out of a Dumpster, and we’ll be just a mouse click away, ready to lift your spirits with new dates for The Bangles and Babaloo. Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?

So the next time you feel down on life, that nobody loves you and that the world could give a rat’s patootie on whether you survive another day, think of all the tour dates, like the ones for Rainbow Trout, The String Cheese Incident and Clutch that are waiting for you at Pollstar.com. We’re your friends, and we’ll be here forever and ever. That’s a promise.

That is, as long as you don’t ask us to loan you some money. After all, we have to draw a line somewhere.