I think taking a few tour dates, maybe the new ones for Robin Williams or the latest schedule for Better Than Ezra, and tacking them to the front door says so much about a person, don’t you?

It’s the one and only Martha Stewart, and she’s going to change the way you look at concert itineraries…

Today I’m going to show you how to arrange the Restless Heart schedule so that the individual dates form the shape of a gigantic valentine.

Join Martha each and every day as she shows you hundreds of things you can do with concert schedules such as the latest listings for Mercury Rev, Dee Dee Bridgewater and Dave Holland Quintet…

At least, I think it looks like a valentine. I mean, I wouldn’t know. It’s been years since anyone has given me a Valentine’s Day card.

And don’t miss Martha’s special feature when she looks to the past to give you decorating tips for tomorrow…

In fact, I don’t think anyone has given me a valentine since, oh, I don’t know, since Vanilla Ice was selling out arenas. Come to think of it, no one has asked me to a good concert, like Hatebreed or Garbage, in years.

Martha will brighten your day and bring joy to your life…

At least not since I stopped bleaching my moustache. God, I need a drink.

Let Martha show you how to use tour dates to transform everyday items into decorating masterpieces…

Today I’m going to take an ordinary handgun and combine it with an empty whiskey bottle, along with the schedules for John Prine and ReBirth Brass Band, and make a wonderful Valentine’s Day centerpiece.

Make every day a Martha Stewart day…

First we’ll take a string of No Doubt dates and wrap them around the trigger of the handgun. Then we’ll take our empty whiskey bottle… Oh, drat! This whiskey bottle isn’t empty. Well, I’ll just take care of that right now.

By spending a few minutes each day with Martha, you’ll learn exciting decorating tips and new ways to use tour dates, like the new ones for Catch 22, to spruce up your home and bring excitement back to your life…

Forget it, coppers! I’m not coming out until someone gives me a valentine and asks me out to see *NSYNC!

Tour Dates with Martha Stewart…

You want some of this? Come and get it!

Debuting soon…

Does anyone out there feel lucky today???!!!

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