“Hop in.

“I normally don’t pick up hitchhikers, but you look like a decent sort. Do you like concerts? I love concerts. In the next few weeks I’ll be seeing P.J. Harvey and Sade. Who do you like? What’s that? The Beach Boys? Oh, I get it. You’re a classic rocker. Why don’t you look in that tape box for my Lynyrd Skynyrd concert bootlegs. Yeah, that’s it. The three-hour version of ‘Freebird.’ Slip that puppy in. What? ‘Lynyrd who?’ You’re joking, right?

“Yeah, concerts are my life. I live for a good show like Kings X or Ben Folds. Going to see the Foo Fighters tomorrow night in Los Angeles. It’s supposed to be a secret show at the Troubadour. No, you can’t buy tickets. You have to sign up for them on the band’s Web site. Uh? ‘What’s a Web site?’ You’re kidding, right?

“You like 2 Live Crew? I love them. Here put this tape in and crank it! Uh? Sure they’re nasty. As nasty as they want to be. What do you mean, ‘that’s obscene?’ We’re both adults. Come on, it’s 2001. I mean, it’s not like it’s 1968. Have you been living in a vacuum or something?

“Yeah, I see all the shows. You name it, *NSYNC, Backstreet Boys or 98 Degrees, I’m there. Oh, come on. I can’t believe you never heard of any of those bands. They’re on MTV all the time. That’s M-T-V. You know, Music Television? What? Now I know you’re joking. Lemme guess, you’ve been living on a deserted island with six other castaways.

“What’s that? You say you’re a Beatles fan? I don’t have any Beatles tapes in the box, but I do have that compilation of Ringo Starr & His All Starr Band. It’s that tape that’s still in the shrink-wrap. There’s a penknife in the glove compartment if you have trouble opening… Oh, I see you have your own knife. Made it yourself, eh? It looks just like that knife in that Crocodile Dundee movie. Uh? You never saw it? Nothing personal, but you don’t get out much, do ya?

“Oh, by the way, the name’s Roger. What’s yours? Charlie, eh? Charlie, what?

“No kidding? Any relation to Marilyn Manson? What do you mean, ‘who?’

“Like, where have you been, man? In prison?”