Features
Tours de Farce: California’s Darkest Moment
Oh, what a difference a few weeks can make! It was only a short month ago when it seemed as if there were plenty of tour dates to go around, but a walk down the streets of Fresno today reveals children wearing rags while they shamelessly beg for extra dates for 3 Doors Down and Vince Gill.
It’s not much better in the major cities. Los Angeles has turned into a “no man’s land,” where cash is worthless and one must barter goods in exchange for the latest routings for Roni Size Reprazent, Ratt and Muse.
Our coastal cities, Santa Barbara, Ventura, and Oxnard are at the mercy of the Concert Marines, the commercial sailors who are treated like kings in exchange for dates for Kudzu Kings and
Meanwhile, here at Pollstar.com, we’ve doubled the guards, increased the juice for the electric fences, and topped off the Napalm pits. To the south we can see campfires on the horizon, representing the nomadic Bakersfield tribes that have sprung up along our perimeter. We know it’s only a matter of days before they combine forces and launch a siege against our compound. Rumor has it that they’ve come to chew tobacco and get the dates for Brad Mehldau and Alejandro Sanz. The bad news is they’re all out of Skoal.
What can you do? We only ask that you keep in touch with Pollstar.com, as our ragged crew continues to stoke the furnaces of the concert industry with dates for Morgan Heritage, Mighty Mighty Bosstones and 16 Horsepower. Visit our home page often, click on as many tours as you like, and remember, for each new date you see, someone risked life and limb for you.
And send us as much Skoal as you can spare. And spittoons, for God’s sake, send spittoons. You just might save a life.