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Tours de Farce: Stacks Of Wax
Actually it’s not all earwax. I used toenail clippings to make the turnstiles for my replica of Tina Turner at the Nassau Coliseum, and that’s my chest hair forming the lawn seats for Dave Matthews Band at the Shoreline Amphitheatre. But most of my creations are at least 90 percent earwax.
At first it was difficult getting supplies, but after Ted Nugent showed me a trick with a butane lighter, a ball peen hammer and a plunger, I have all the earwax I need, even enough to sculpt all the stops on the AC/DC tour.
Needless to say, there’s been some opposition to my creations from the so-called legitimate art world. They say my earwax depictions are merely greasy representations of acts like El Vez and Warrant, and in no way represent a real art form. But then, they weren’t too crazy about my Woodstock series made out of navel lint and kidney stones either.
But I look forward to the day when all my creations will be displayed in major museums the world over and not just your local Planet Hollywood. It’s the public that decides what is and what isn’t art, and already I’ve had inquiries about my life-size earwax creations of Strung Out, Fu Manchu and Low. Yes, someday I’m going to be the Christo of earwax art. Just you wait.
In fact, this could be the proverbial Q-tip of the iceberg.