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Tours de Farce: School’s Out Forever!
“You said it, Rick. Nothing but fun in the sun.”
“I was looking at Pollstar.com last night. Did ya know dat Tattoo The Earth, Tower Of Power and KORN are coming to town next month?”
“Really? They’re my four favorite bands.”
Uh, Billy, dat’s only three bands.”
“Oh right. I heard that Neil Young is coming in August. That’s only one month away.”
“Uh, dat’s two months, Billy. This is June, remember?”
“Guess I forgot. Anyway, do you know what the best thing is about summer vacation?’
“Other than school’s out? What?”
“No principal.”
“I hear you on dat one. Remember when he caught ya smoking in the stadium during lunch?”
“How can I forget. He made me eat an entire pack of cigarettes. All 21 of them.”
“I think dere’s 20 cigs in a pack, Billy.”
“Whatever. But I got even with him when I dropped those cherry bombs in all the bathroom toilets.”
“All of dem?”
“Every single one. All five floors.”
“But da school only has four floors.”
“Uh? Let’s see. One, two, three… Yeah, I think you’re right. It was still a good prank.”
“One of da best.”
“I hear that KISS, with Ted Nugent and Skid Row are coming next month.”
“I was planning on buying tickets. Ya wanna go?”
“Sure. How much do they cost?”
“$26.50 a piece to sit on da lawn.”
“So, how much do you need from me?”
“Uhh, $26.50.”
“Okay. Say, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what classes do you have next fall at good old PS 191?”
“Oh, da usual.”
“Teaching English, again?”
“Yeah, and youse?”
“Math.”
“Same old, same old, eh?”
“Yeah. Say, how much did you say half of $26.50 was?”