“Thank you. Here’s my resume.”

“I have to fly out of here for a Kittie show. Gotta a problem with the mosh pit hydraulic system, so I’ll be brief. The position is tour accountant. We have a lot of acts on the road, like Superdrag and Queensryche, and my last accountant disappeared during a freak ticket counting accident.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, there’s more where he came from. Let me give you a sample problem. You’re in the settlement room after a Def Leppard show. Ticket sales total $691,000. Expenses and the promoter’s percentage total $131,033. What’s the final net?”


“Hmmm. Okay, thanks for coming in. We’ll be in touch.”

Two days later…

“Okay, I have to catch a plane to Vancouver for a Joe Satriani show. Gotta problem with the septic tank refresher that needs my attention. If ticket sales are $420,000 and expenses are $35,000, what’s the net?


“Yeah, right. Don’t slam the door on the way out.”

Two more days…

“I’ll make this quick. I have to fly out to Vancouver. There’s a problem with the Tina Turner show and I have to fire a couple of my DNA specialists. Okay, ticket sales total $1.2 million. Expenses are $151,000 and the promoter gets ten percent. What’s the final net?”

“Hmmm. How much do you want it to be?”

“Perfect. When can you start?”